I cannot express to you the amount of times I have heard the promise, “I’m here for you.” from individuals I no longer have even the slightest of communication with. It’s almost as if there was a worldwide newsletter that I, somehow, missed. We treat the words we speak so lightly, yet, are they not our greatest weapon? They are our ammunition, ready to wreak chaos; our sidearm for recreation. They carry us through the raging battlefield, as well as, abandon us at sorrow’s breeding grounds. They fall, aligned so splendidly, forming the grandest of inspirations and stirring the utmost of rage. Our words, how we communicate, they compose much of the environments we live in.. They dictate where we will go in life, who we will be accompanied by, and what will become of ourselves. Words are more precious than any silver and finer than any wine, yet we go beyond lengths to taint their name. We have corrupted authenticity, polluting it with wariness and uncertainty. No longer do we live in an age of trust.
Tell me, what do people gain by speaking lies of commitment? If you have no real intention of pulling through, why even bother with the exertion of your energy? Time and time again, people have thrown around “I love you” and “I’m not going anywhere”. I am not sure if it is out of feeling obligated or just simply a habitual response, but they never skip a beat. A collection of scratched records, I suppose, all spewing out the same verses. How could so many be so careless? I do not understand and I am not sure that I ever will.
Humanity has this picture that we are all supposed to be a family, welcoming one another as a long-lost sibling. Truth of the matter is, it isn’t realistic to place such standards upon others. Why arrange such ideals for a population that is incapable? I do not disagree with loving all as much as possible, but I do not believe in only partially doing things; speaking half-truths, fragmented completion of tasks, formless affections, etc. If we are going to use this powerful and awe-inspiring gift of transmission of our thoughts, make sure that what you are conveying is accurate. Do not fabricate such false pretenses simply because it rolls off your tongue, conveniently.
You have all heard it- and I am sure you will hear it again- but, just think before you speak. Consider the value of what you have to say, if it is truly as ‘impactless’ as you believe. Not just the typical awareness of tone and choice of wordage in heated squabbles, but also how you express your endearment to those around you. I have experienced, frequently, the lack of consideration in this matter. You see, too often, people think that if they are not directly speaking words that are outwardly unsightly, that it shouldn’t be a concern of theirs. This couldn’t be any further from the truth, however. In fact, on some occasions these expressions penetrate the deepest. For- I am sure you all are aware- when you hear something spoken a certain number of times, you begin to hold it as true. Unfortunately- as we have determined previously- far too many are irresponsible in the credibility of their words and thus, when no longer intrigued or the effort begins to be too much, withdraw.
I am the type of person that, once you have earned my trust, will commit despite the innumerable setbacks. I will go above and beyond to please the ones I care for, purely because I love them and want to make them happy. I am not one to cling, but I do expect mutual respect and an exertion of some sort on their end, if a friendship is truly expected to be maintained. So, when a person that has established themselves in my life and actively has told me they care about me, naturally, I take it as true. Why would anyone be so cruel as to lie? Regrettably, I am here to inform you that the world can be a cold place for truth. People that you genuinely thought would be there for you, even at your lowest, can leave and, if you are anything like me, will graciously present you with a gaping hole. I suppose the passing by of people is a part of life, but what I do not believe should be is fraudulent promises, delivered from full-knowing persons.
Let me tell you, I have one simple fix for this painful obstruction of intimacy. Just say goodbye. At least, have the decency to tell the person, that you claimed to care for, that you no longer wish to be a part of their life, you are not able to be as invested as you would like to be, an explanation for why you up and disappeared, or something. My experience may be limited, but from what I do have and have collected from others is, when people just disappear it is unsettling. Mutual distancing is one thing, but to just go, it hurts. It hurts alot. Not the faint, stinging hurt either. The kind of pain that claws at your throat and rattles you in the night. The kind that overwhelms your mind with reasoning behind what you did wrong or why they were gone so quickly and seemingly easily. That is the kind of ache that I speak of. That is what I have felt enough times to be unnerved and very much set off balance.
Maybe you’re thinking to yourself right now, “Wow, this girl has got some attachment issues,” or maybe you have resonated with me in some way. Nevertheless, my viewpoint on the matter stands and I know, for a fact, I am not the only one that has been on the backhand of this. I urge you to consider all of the things said. Whether with co-workers, peers, neighbors, or people you’ve made an acquaintance with in any manner, do not accentuate that which you do not intend to pull through on. Have some integrity and stand for your words, rather than desert and afflict them at the first opportunity. Honesty is never a simple task, but let me tell you, it is well worth it.
I know, I know, I’m a sap, tell me something I don’t know. Leave any questions, comments, or suggestions below, as always! If you would like to know something specific about me or would like to hear my take on anything in particular, feel free to ask. I’m an open book… Haha, okay.. More like a locked and chained book being pried open with a crowbar. On that final- and truthful- note, sayonara!