A Freak Like Me

We all have our “guilty pleasures”, do we not? For some, it might be food related; I’ve heard of pickles and peanut butter, pizza with apple sauce, or salt on watermelon (This may be a personal bias, but if you could visualize me now, I am shivering in disgust. Yes, I have tried it. Yes, I also would like to live longer than 40, thank you!) Others, it might be an actual process of doing something like constant leg/finger tapping, separating colors/food, or avoiding all cracks in a sidewalk. Everyone has them, it’s what makes each of us unique individuals. We’re all weirdos, but hey, at least we’re weird together! I have boiled down 5 of my, frequently recurring‘oddities’ that I find myself enjoying or doing. Let us begin.
Having My Toes Pulled

This is more of a recent satisfaction I have found. Have you ever wrapped your opposite hand around the opposing finger and pulled- or had someone else- as an alternative way of popping your fingers? Well it fundamentally works the same for toes, as well. Minus the part about doing it yourself, that is. Something about this sensation is so refreshing. It is as if the tension in my body has flowed to my feet and collected, thus when they are pulled that tension is released and I am left in bliss. Some people find this act painful. In fact, the reason we began this practice was with the sole purpose of jokingly tormenting our family members. Our feet grew used to the process and, now many of my family members stand with me on taking enjoyment in having our toes pulled.
2. Rubbing My Nose

When I was young, I suffered with sensory awareness to a much higher degree than I do today. This made any and all clothes shopping ten times more difficult because of my complete fixation upon the textures of certain fabrics. When I was displeased with how something felt, I was relentless that I could not go on wearing the selected item. I was like this with many things. Partially due to my anxiety, I could not let some things go. Due to allergies, one day it felt as if something was bothering my nose that I just couldn’t reach. I began attempting to clear my nose, producing a loud huffing noise, constantly. This made me aware of my nose. Later in life, as young children do, I was crossing my eyes. After exhibiting my newfound gift to a small audience it was met with giggles and warnings of “Oh, better be careful. Do that too many times and they’ll stick like that!” This disturbed me and I over internalized what the few had told me. I began fretting that my eyes would indeed stick! Like the huffing, I quickly went over the top and regularly pushed my nose downward in an attempt to keep it out of view of my eyes and out of temptation. Little by little, the intensity dissolved, but the itch did not. I was left with a small habit of the occasional wrinkling of the nose and quick rubbing. This habit carries on to this day, though hardly a thing of concern in my mind at this point.
3. Peeling Skin

I know, I know, disgusting. I have to admit, the sight of some peeling their dried and wrinkled flakes of deceased skin is enough to cause even I to shudder. The actual process of doing so is another story, however. I suspect I am not alone on this one, either, when I admit I absolutely love to peel dead skin. My own, that is. Old sunburns, dried out sections, you name it. As long as there isn’t a severe amount of pain involved, I am totally down. Something about the way it feesl is so extremely satisfying, one can only understand the pleasure if they experience it themselves. Maybe you are reading this and projectile vomiting all over the place, in horror of this confession. I find that people typically land on either of the extremes in this matter. Nevertheless, I cannot deny this cringe-worthy indulgence as anything but the truth.

Some of you may have heard of this before, some of you may have not. ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. Basically, it is recordings of different people producing an assortment of close up sounds and often times, whispering, which triggers the reaction that so many enjoy. It comes in different forms, depending on the level to which you are affected by it. Most feel a tingly sensation in the area being focused on in the video, but you can experience pleasurable shimmers- in extreme cases- similar to a response you would get during a good massage and also a general relaxation feeling/sleepiness. The great thing about ASMR is there are so many different triggers, so it can work for a wide range of people. I, personally am “triggered”, as they say, by massaging and scratching noises on the back and head. I also enjoy ear cupping, ear massaging, many ear related trigger noises. I feel like there has been a lot of negative stigma around this practice and the use of it but honestly I do not see why. I understand it is a bit out of the ordinary and something rather new but if it helps someone like me relax and get some rest, who cares? I certainly do not. I happen to find it quite intriguing.

5. Drawing Eight Shapes

This is an almost unconscious thing I do. Like most people who bounce their legs or pop their finger- which I do both of- this act is a nervous tick, of sorts. I have been doing it since I was fairly young, as well. Something about the process of creating a symmetrical shape appeals to my, often times, compulsive nature. It does not matter what I am doing, I will use whatever surroundings I am presented with. I take my finger and draw an invisible sideways eight/infinity sign with my finger on a random surface or in the air or use my foot and do the same except on the ground or in the air. I am not exactly sure what began this habit, I hardly notice I am even doing it sometimes. I have always been a fidgeter and so I presume, like my other traits, over time and observation of varying things, simply just developed. Like my other oddities, it causes no harm to my life. If anything, it benefits me in finding an alternative way, to shaking my legs and twiddling with my fingers, to release nervous energy that I always seem to gather during the times I am sitting.
You used to think I was weird but trust me, I only get weirder the more you find out about me. While some of these things may be a bit compulsive on occasion, and habitual, none have a truly negative impact on my life and all seem to help me in some way, shape, or form, even if that is just to get rid of a pesky urge. Everyone has things they do that they don’t just readily blurt out and, I have to admit, I have many more that are probably even stranger, to some degree. There is nothing wrong with these things, as long as they do not become unhealthy and an uncontrollable addiction. I suppose, when it is all said and done, humanity is just one colossal bunch of weirdos.

Do you enjoy some of the things I have listed? What are your ‘guilty pleasures’? How do you think these things affect us? Tell me all about it below! Sorry this is a little late, but hey it’s still within the week. (: Adios, my fellow freaks!

Citations: http://www.laboiteverte.fr/costumes-lancienne/

2 thoughts on “A Freak Like Me

Add yours

  1. Well I am just the opposite when it comes to a AMSR. I don’t like it when someone else rubs the back of my head, making that scratching noise will drive me crazy to the point I have to tell them to stop. And same with rubbing my shoulder or back in a soft gentle motion almost sends chills down my spine and I have to tell them to stop. I guess some people like that because it always made me feel annoyed. Haha.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s hilarious! Yeah, it kinda can work either way. Some people enjoy it, some hate it. I love any massaging I can get, in a non-creepy way, haha!


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